Hints to a Better Way of Living:
When Trama Affects a Loved One who is Far Away
At some time during your marriage or over the life time of your family, members maybe find themselves miles apart. Distance can increase worries and fears when someone you love is in harm's way. Such events can create stress overload in four key ways: (1) incomplete information and worry about the whereabouts of your loved one, (2) inability to communicate, (3) feelings of helplessness and being out of control, and (4) a repeat media"loop" of bad news. Be specific about the things your employer can do to help you cope (such as flexible hours and unscheduled time off); most employers are willing to help. Turn off the television as an information source, and turn to official Web sites/information source that disseminate important details. Maintain routines, because familiarity and normalcy in everyday life provide a natural antidote to emotional upheaval. Keep up an exercise routine. Stick to a schedule. Focus on things that you can control, like cleaning and organizing your surroundings. To satisfy the need to "do something." join forces with other families or couples organizing fund-raising events or working together to assemble care packages or to provide relief. Talk about what you're feeling with someone you trust. Write or e-mail your loved one even if he or she can't receive the message yet, because getting your thoughts on paper is a helpful emotional release. Don't leave children out of the loop, preferably provide age appropriate information. Allow younger children to express their feelings through drawing or art projects, writing notes and playing. Get active as a family with those members who are near by, use the local community centers in your area. Rancho Cucamonga, Upland and Chino have Community Centers where the family can get involved in structured activities. Ask your human resource department if brief supports and advice can be provided through the Employee Assistance Program, because they are there to help in times like these.
